My wife and I are in our 60s, and all of our kids have four legs (two dogs and a cat). We have absolutely no regrets about not having children, whatsoever, and wouldn't change a thing.

I just wish society would tell teenagers the truth (the “dark side of the moon” as I often call it) about parenthood. Give them ALL the information, and let them make an EDUCATED decision whether or not to have kids. Instead, we seem to glorify parenthood, and kids fall — unthinkingly — into it.

At least, if they knew what they were in for, they wouldn't be so shocked when it hit them.

Many parents are shocked when they discover that their infants don’t keep the same wake-sleep schedule that they’re used to; that their toddlers have a propensity for finding ways to hurt themselves the moment the parent looks the other way; that their teenagers are not the sweet, obedient, gentle, respectful children they used to be; that, despite lectures to the contrary, their teenagers are still quite curious (and cavalier) about tobacco, alcohol, and other drugs; that their teenagers have “no fear” when they are behind the wheel of a car, diving into dangerous waters, or committing a crime. They are perplexed about proper nutrition of children of all ages, and discipline seems to frustrate most parents. They are also stunned when they discover how much time, energy and money are required to raise a child properly.

I am convinced that there should be a “LICENSE TO PARENT.” Courses and tests (both theoretical and practical), created by and given by experienced and successful parents, teachers, nurses, daycare workers, doctors, social workers, psychologists, psychiatrists, family counsellors, police officers, etc. would have to be taken, with at least 80% needed to pass in order to receive your License To Parent (could you justify any less?). Such courses should be mandatory in every high school in the country. Even though, in a democracy, we can’t really prevent people from making babies irresponsibly, such courses would, at the very least, make people more informed, more responsible, and possibly less likely to make babies without sufficient forethought. It might even convince a few people that parenthood wasn’t right for them, and would save them, their potential children, and society at large from the catastrophic consequences of poor parenting.

Parenting is a serious responsibility. It is the hardest job in the world to do, yet it's the easiest job to get — no education, no training, no experience with kids (of any age), no tests, no interviews, no probation period, no periodic evaluations, and hardly any risk of being fired.

It is the most irrevocable decision one will ever make in one’s life. It should be seen as a privilege, not a right — it shouldn’t be automatic or accidental, and it should certainly not be taken lightly. Children are too precious to be created without making a careful, conscious decision about them. Unfortunately, creating a child takes very little effort and even less intelligence. To be a good parent, however, is to achieve one of the most difficult and important goals of modern life.

More time should be spent considering children than conceiving them.

Jerry Steinberg
Founding Non-Father of NO KIDDING!
The international social club for childless and childfree couples and singles
http://www.nokidding.net; info@nokidding.net