Comments on: Children Make Us Miserable

By: pregnancy stages

pregnancy stages — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:04:11 +0000

Maybe your children make you miserable. Mine never made me feel or look like this. In my opinion kids are a gift and it should be received accordingly. What about all the families that want to have a children and can`t? what about them? I think they really feel miserable not someone who have kids.

By: Villagemom

Villagemom — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 12:09:37 +0000

Sometimes I think I am the luckiest mom around. I divorced my children's father a few years ago and have since remarried. My 6 and 9 year old spend every other weekend (Fri-Tues) with their dad and his girlfriend and we alternate holidays and split summers. My kids have 2 dads now that contribute resources (emotional and financial) to their upbringing plus my ex's girlfriend helps out too. I also regularly call on my parents to take the kids for a weekend or week here and there which they all absolutely love. The bottom line: it takes a village to raise a family. Maybe our brains just haven't evolved to raise kids in the nuclear family (isolated away from extended family) and so perhaps that is what makes it so hard and unpleasant? And it can get UNPLEASANT to say the least. How much can two people (the parents) take??? It is absolutely 110% better now that there are 4-6 other people who are actively involved in my kids upbringing and every day I thank my lucky stars for the arrangement I've got. My kids are very well adjusted, stable, and most of all know that they are loved by the people who care for them.

By: Arkansas Adoption

Arkansas Adoption — Wed, 27 May 2009 07:35:01 +0000

marriage, age, and religion, really matters in a family. In a couple having a child is their happiness, some couples deciding to adopt a child because of some problems..

By: freestyle

freestyle — Sun, 10 May 2009 14:59:57 +0000

This is one of the best posts i read on your blog, you have covered the topic really well. Keep up the great work.

Emma

By: ovulation days

ovulation days — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 17:55:21 +0000

Many women however strange know what ovulation
Ovulation – it is the stage of menstrual cycle, during which in one of ovaries a follicle is torn and formed yellow body. That, during ovulation ripening ovule, ready to the impregnation, goes out from a follicle and follows to the uterus on uterine pipes (by their hairs). In an uterus at this time there is transformation of mucous membrane – endometriya. New mews appear in him, the network of blood vessels broadens. All of it is necessary in order that, in the case of impregnation, an embryo got nutritives. A yellow body is sekretiruet hormones, especially important during pregnancy here. Menstruation begins in opposite case, and a yellow body is exposed to gradual regress.

By: sm

sm — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 03:05:07 +0000

unbelievably thoughtful and nondefensive comment, which is what you often hear from people with children who don't like these types of studies. I will definitely take your introspective words into account as I decide whether or not to have children.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 11:10:33 +0000

I think it can depends to some degree on what sort of temperament your child/children have, as to how they make you feel. We have a 5-year-old boy, who, right from the word go, had a VERY strong character, and never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it was going to be so emotionally hard raising a child. The baby-phase was tough; we have no family around us, and our little boy was Colicky. The toddler tantrums were unbelieveable, and nothing we tried made them easier to handle, and even now at the age of 5 he can still reduce me to tears. Yes, he brings us joy, and we are a fun-loving family who spend plenty of quality time together and focus very much on our son’s emotional wellbeing, but there is no way we want any more children. Our marriage is important to us, and if we had any more, we would be more stressed than we are now with that extra responsibility, more tired, and we’d have less time together as a couple until they had grown up. But that’s not the only reason we don’t want any more; we feel that we don’t have to cave in to pressure from the rest of society that children SHOULD HAVE siblings. Half of my friends don’t even speak to their siblings, and a good friend of mine who was brought up and only child always says she had the best childhood ever. Adding one or more children to a family can (and I see it with friends who have more than one) add to everyday pressures and make parents (particulary stay-at-home mums) miserable. With one child we feel we have everything – a beautiful son, time for ourselves as a couple, and enough stress to contend with thank you very much! It sounds negative, but I don’t think that children are the be all and end all of adult happiness. I used to think they were, but now I have a child of my own I can totally understand why some people choose a child-free life.

By: Children from Hell

Children from Hell — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 00:43:39 +0000

My kids make me miserable. They don’t listen, they fight all the time, they don’t clean, the oldest is a hermit, the middle one is a trouble maker, and the youngest is just hyper. Yeah, I do love them with everything I have but they just don’t understand that money doesn’t grow on trees and they’re hard as hell to raise. They don’t understand that it takes sleep to work a graveyard job.

Oh, and the dad? Well, he pretends to be interested and “tries” to see them every other weekend and then blames all their problems on me.

I’m about ready to pull my flipping hair out!

By: Childless by Choice? « It’s All Endogenous

Childless by Choice? « It’s All Endogenous — Tue, 27 May 2008 10:52:26 +0000

[...] had fertility on mind lately for obvious reasons. I have been following the great Wilkinson-Caplan debates, am part way through Better to Never Have Been by David Benatar, and am taking a [...]

By: Nancy Lebovitz`

Nancy Lebovitz` — Wed, 07 May 2008 00:57:08 +0000

By casual cobservation, I think there’s a smallish proportion of parents and kids who are good for each other. They’re the ones worth studying.

By: Celine

Celine — Wed, 07 May 2008 00:42:24 +0000

Excellent discussion! I made my decision to be childfree shortly after college; 30 years later I still don’t regret it, and never expect to. But you are dead on target about pronatalist propaganda; I’ve been harangued by hairdressers, repairmen, and complete strangers because they seemed to think it was their sacred duty to make sure ALL women have children.

BTW, I’m with Jen about the notion of adopting at 45. It’s one thing to have a tail-end child at that age, and quite another to start the child-rearing process from scratch. Also, I was adopted by older parents, and it caused a lot of problems as I grew up; there was almost two generations’ worth of generation gap between me and my parents, and we fought constantly from the time I was 10 or 11 years old until I moved out of the house. I wouldn’t wish that on any kid, or on you either!

By: Jad

Jad — Tue, 06 May 2008 10:35:02 +0000

Renee:

Looks like a kid-centric society has done a very good job in brainwashing you. Pity.

By: renee

renee — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:22:17 +0000

While I agree that children are the root of a large amount of stress I think in the end having raised children and experiencing life with them is possibly the happiest and most fulfilling thing in the world. Adults whom I know who do not have children especially as they reach their later years are generally seem more depressed. My husband and I have six children and four grandchildren and we are truly happy that we have them and happy with our life. We have only one left at home and we are not quite ready for him to leave. I believe wholeheartedly that raising children is challenging and can be very difficult but the in the end you are far happier for having done it.

By: The Ambrosini Critique » Blog Archive » How to easily reject results from Happiness research

Thu, 10 Apr 2008 00:55:30 +0000

[...] Will Wilkinson is giddy over happiness research these days. One of the results he cited the other day was controlling for everything, kids make people less happy. [...]

By: eric

eric — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 22:42:44 +0000

I haven't seen anything on parent-child smelling and preferences, but there has been lots of fun research giving women t-shirts of men, and analyzing what types of scents they like, and have examined how these preferences relate to their genes and menstrual cycle. This is why cologne sells--it works. Look at those goosebumps on your arm. You are an animal.