My housemates are kind souls stirred by the best within the otherwise hard human heart. Do they reach out with a hand full of nutritious grain to starving children? No. Do they seek to ease the suffering of those dispossessed by tsunamis or earthquakes? No. Do they help grant one last wish to tiny unfortunates suffering from excruciating cancer of the puppy. No. Through a veritable inferno of human goodness, through altruism superlative beyond adjectives, they have extended their kindness to she among us who is in the direst need: Lindsay Lohan.